Speaking of things you don’t care about, my plan to walk a different route to work every day has been a huge success. Today I walked past a fake fire hydrant made especially for dogs to relieve themselves on, and a Batmobile that I guess could be used for the same thing in a pinch. Everyone I saw smiled at me, I don’t know why and I’m not going to look into it.
Anyone who’s ever walked with me has commented later that I walk way, way, way too fast. Today I was wearing (the very cutest) leopard print flats and there were puddles everywhere so I had to walk so slowly I saw everything seven times. I liked it. I will never do it again.
May 31, 2012
May 29, 2012
maniac maniac maniac
Remember that time we were eating Thai curry and there were all those things that looked like hairs in it? It turned out they were just bamboo fibers but I thought they were hairs, so for the purpose of this story, they were. And that didn't slow me down at all.
May 28, 2012
Lamest super-power ever
Every morning I drink a glass of hot water.
I also drink three in the afternoon and maybe one at night if I think of it. I also drink five to ten glasses of cold water, and I also drink two to three glasses of room-temperature water depending on how much time the glasses have to get used to the temperature of the room before I drink them.
I am half fish. I hate swimming.
I hope you memorized all those numbers because here’s the math problem: why is the hot water starting to taste like juice lately?
My first guess is it’s because I kind of gave up sweets last week. Kind of means this plan where I only eat sweets when other people offer them to me. So far it means two handfuls of Skittles. People that know me in real life (or IRL, LOL IMHO TTYL SIL) aren’t going to believe this but in the last week I haven’t had a single meal where the main ingredient was chocolate. No, not even for lunch.
And, friends in real life, get this: this is happening while I am living right next to that chocolate shop I always talk about that has chocolate in the shape of ladybugs and dogs. Everything shaped like a ladybug tastes cuter, and the dogs are hilarious because dogs? Dogs can't eat chocolate! Do you get it? The dogs are also cute.
Maybe my entire life the overwhelming amount of sugar I consumed was clouding my palate and now that it’s gone I’ve discovered I’m a Super Taster. Maybe now I can even taste the emotions of the people that cook food for me. Maybe there’s something wrong with my dishwasher.
If I start being able to taste sounds I’m going to stop eating my friend’s Skittles.
These are my hands with a chocolate ladybug three years ago. They make new ladybugs every day. Did you know the British word for ladybug is ladybird?
"Brooke I think you are looking like your mother as you... AGE. I still remember you with your little cardigan with the ladybirds on it. You were running down the hall at Baseline to-wards me; when you got there I went to pick you up and you fell, what a racket you made crying."
I also drink three in the afternoon and maybe one at night if I think of it. I also drink five to ten glasses of cold water, and I also drink two to three glasses of room-temperature water depending on how much time the glasses have to get used to the temperature of the room before I drink them.
I am half fish. I hate swimming.
I hope you memorized all those numbers because here’s the math problem: why is the hot water starting to taste like juice lately?
My first guess is it’s because I kind of gave up sweets last week. Kind of means this plan where I only eat sweets when other people offer them to me. So far it means two handfuls of Skittles. People that know me in real life (or IRL, LOL IMHO TTYL SIL) aren’t going to believe this but in the last week I haven’t had a single meal where the main ingredient was chocolate. No, not even for lunch.
And, friends in real life, get this: this is happening while I am living right next to that chocolate shop I always talk about that has chocolate in the shape of ladybugs and dogs. Everything shaped like a ladybug tastes cuter, and the dogs are hilarious because dogs? Dogs can't eat chocolate! Do you get it? The dogs are also cute.
Maybe my entire life the overwhelming amount of sugar I consumed was clouding my palate and now that it’s gone I’ve discovered I’m a Super Taster. Maybe now I can even taste the emotions of the people that cook food for me. Maybe there’s something wrong with my dishwasher.
If I start being able to taste sounds I’m going to stop eating my friend’s Skittles.
These are my hands with a chocolate ladybug three years ago. They make new ladybugs every day. Did you know the British word for ladybug is ladybird?
"Brooke I think you are looking like your mother as you... AGE. I still remember you with your little cardigan with the ladybirds on it. You were running down the hall at Baseline to-wards me; when you got there I went to pick you up and you fell, what a racket you made crying."
May 25, 2012
Sixteen food facts
Today I found this list of food stories from France in my notebook. I think I have more posts with the label "food" than all the rest combined. I always feel bad for people who click on "fashion" because it's just photos of bad hair days. That's what fashion is to me. Here's what food is to me:
FOUR NEW FOODS I TRIED AND LIKED
I know, it's really pathetic that I had never eaten these foods before.
1. Pineapple. I had never eaten pineapple before. Don't laugh. I didn't like the looks of it because the outside was spiky. I love pineapple.
2. Beans. Also had never eaten them. And they are delicious.
3. Goat cheese. No excuses. Goat cheese is my favorite food, meal, beverage, song, place, and person.
4. Peanuts. peanuts are fine.
FOUR NEW FOODS I TRIED AND DIDN'T LIKE
I told you I didn't want to try it.
1. Cooked carrots. I've been avoiding them for 15 years. Why do such a horrible thing to such a delicious vegetable.
2. Raw salmon. Probably because the day I ate it I already was sick.
3. Chicken skin. Probably because the first piece I tried had little hairs coming out of the skin.
4. Pine-tree-flavored things. Probably because it's a car air-freshener scent, not a flavor.
FOUR FOODS I LIKE MORE THAN BEFORE
Or, foods that are ruined forever when I move back to the US.
1. Tomatoes. Tomatoes are different here. They're always red on the inside, never pink, and they're never nasty and soft. I eat tomatoes like apples.
2. Applesauce. Here its just sauce, you can have pearsauce, strawberrysauce, rhubarbsauce.
3. Orange soda. I know that is kind of weird. but it's really big here.
4. Eggs. Eggs eggs eggs.
FOUR FOODS I MISS
Shipping is so expensive.
1. Cereal. There is a ton of cereal in France and I'm sure it's all delicious, but it's all made with barley malt flour so I can't eat it. I miss cereal a lot.
2. Salsa. And all Mexican food. I went to a Cape Verdian party where there was a tomato and onion side dish. Basically just a punch bowl of salsa to eat plain, no chips no anything. "You don't have to try that if you don't want to, it's an acquired taste" everyone said. I had three servings.
3. Normal milk. That is refrigerated. I'm drinking this crazy-long-shelf-life milk and I'm not complaining, but it's giving me the heeby-jeebies. Apologies for the spelling of that word, it's the first time I've typed it and I've never said it out loud.
4. Hot chocolate you mix with water. Only because the kind you mix with milk grows a skin and that is tooo naaaasty for wooooords.
FOUR NEW FOODS I TRIED AND LIKED
I know, it's really pathetic that I had never eaten these foods before.
1. Pineapple. I had never eaten pineapple before. Don't laugh. I didn't like the looks of it because the outside was spiky. I love pineapple.
2. Beans. Also had never eaten them. And they are delicious.
3. Goat cheese. No excuses. Goat cheese is my favorite food, meal, beverage, song, place, and person.
4. Peanuts. peanuts are fine.
FOUR NEW FOODS I TRIED AND DIDN'T LIKE
I told you I didn't want to try it.
1. Cooked carrots. I've been avoiding them for 15 years. Why do such a horrible thing to such a delicious vegetable.
2. Raw salmon. Probably because the day I ate it I already was sick.
3. Chicken skin. Probably because the first piece I tried had little hairs coming out of the skin.
4. Pine-tree-flavored things. Probably because it's a car air-freshener scent, not a flavor.
FOUR FOODS I LIKE MORE THAN BEFORE
Or, foods that are ruined forever when I move back to the US.
1. Tomatoes. Tomatoes are different here. They're always red on the inside, never pink, and they're never nasty and soft. I eat tomatoes like apples.
2. Applesauce. Here its just sauce, you can have pearsauce, strawberrysauce, rhubarbsauce.
3. Orange soda. I know that is kind of weird. but it's really big here.
4. Eggs. Eggs eggs eggs.
FOUR FOODS I MISS
Shipping is so expensive.
1. Cereal. There is a ton of cereal in France and I'm sure it's all delicious, but it's all made with barley malt flour so I can't eat it. I miss cereal a lot.
2. Salsa. And all Mexican food. I went to a Cape Verdian party where there was a tomato and onion side dish. Basically just a punch bowl of salsa to eat plain, no chips no anything. "You don't have to try that if you don't want to, it's an acquired taste" everyone said. I had three servings.
3. Normal milk. That is refrigerated. I'm drinking this crazy-long-shelf-life milk and I'm not complaining, but it's giving me the heeby-jeebies. Apologies for the spelling of that word, it's the first time I've typed it and I've never said it out loud.
4. Hot chocolate you mix with water. Only because the kind you mix with milk grows a skin and that is tooo naaaasty for wooooords.
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