pinkie swear

If you listen to this song you will have a great day, I promise. If you dance to it you will have the best day of your life.



I am going to San Francisco to see the most awesome friend and the cutest baby, they both live in the same place. And while I'm there I might pick up a visa to go to France. Hey-o! That didn't make sense there but I've always wanted to type it. Exhilarating.

we will not tone it down

This afternoon, New Brooke was born. New Brooke WILL NOT be pushed around. New Brooke has never said "Sure, I guess all 8 of you can stay at my apartment," or "That's ok, it's a pretty old car anyway."

New Brooke never pauses, she always speaks her mind. "Um" is not in her vocabulary. This makes saying the word "umbrella" impossible, but New Brooke is resourceful, and calls it a "rain shield."

If a fast-food employee gives New Brooke a different ice cream flavor than the one she asked for, she won't throw it away, or try and sell it to her friends. She will hit him in the face with her rain shield. I mean, she'll politely tell him he gave her the wrong flavor.

When people sneeze, New Brooke says "Bless you!" very loudly, instead of being too nervous to say anything, and regretting it all day.

New Brooke loves tacos. Old Brooke loved tacos too actually.

perfect back-to-school gift

the Candwich

I love that that legally the company can't even call this a sandwich, it's a "sandwich product." Stellar.

let's be best friends

Because I want to be a kid and you want to be a grown-up.

maybe I should learn to knit

I have a lot of weird hobbies, but my most disturbing one started this summer.

I like finding websites for couples who are hoping to adopt - stalking has never been as easy as it is on these websites. I like looking at their photos and reading about their childhoods, their interest in crafts, and how much they want a baby. But when I get to the last part I get hopelessly sad because after looking at so many photos of them I really want them to have one too.

And then there's always a letter to someone who is pregnant and I feel even more lost, because this girl is wondering "this couple really likes crafts, but do they like them too much?" And everyone is sad and I don't know what to do.

And then I go and see if Destroyed in Seconds is on tv.

not too exciting

This is my 140th blog post. To celebrate I'm going to put together all of the drafts I wrote but never ended up posting. Mostly because they were boring. But since a 140th post isn't really something to celebrate anyway, I think this is a fitting way to pay tribute.

30 June 2010
Lately I've been listening to a podcast about a French woman's daily life.
Lately she's either become very sick or an extreme hypochondriac. She's been to a podiatrist, a dentist, a heart doctor, an eye doctor, and an orthodontist just in the last 8 days. I don't know what I expected from a podcast about daily life in France, but I don't think this possibility ever crossed my mind.

31 March 2010
Today while I was sitting in the waiting room of a doctors' office for 2 hours, they showed on tv some people who had been stuck on a carnival ride for an hour. And I though "What do they know about waiting." Because all of the magazines in the waiting room were from the 2008 election. At least they didn't have to read about the bailout, and they were rescued after just one hour.

13 January 2010
Yesterday we washed 51 pounds of laundry.
Today I am wearing clothes I had forgotten I owned.

5 January 2010
Animal fact of the week: Cockatoos can bite harder than any other bird. I hate them.
(A cockatoo bit a hole in the jacket I got for Christmas. I later forgave her so there was no need to post this.)

epic

Today we hosted an awesome water balloon fight with 4,000 people. Also we filled 120,000 balloons, and filmed a music video.

But the highlight was that while I was standing in the middle getting pelted in the face with the balloons that really stung because I made them too small because I am lazy, I got the first bruise I have ever gotten in my life. I hope some of you get to see this in person because there's no telling how long it will last.



I'm getting really attached to it.

I would do anything

showusyourpizza.com

Someone with Celiac disease really shouldn't be looking at a website gallery of user-submitted pizza photos. But this pizza looks so amazing.

Je m'appelle Brooke et je cherche des amis!

I've been looking online at rooms to rent in France and almost all of the postings say the exact same sentence. Unfortunately it isn't "Room is completely free." or "There is a slight Malayan Tapir infestation, I hope you don't mind." What all of them say is "I don't want to make friends."

I don't know why all French people looking for house-mates seem to be ideal candidates for reality television, but I am not a fan. And we will be friends whether you like it or not.

sixty days

I'm so hungry I could ride a horse

This is the best thing I have ever seen.



I've decided on a totally new career path today - I want to be a horse race announcer. Just so I can say things like "If she wins this she'll be a Super-Horse!"

And what is up with these horse names? "Romance is Diane"? "All I Can Say Is"? Can you just name a horse anything you want?

why are you so far away from me

Last weekend we set up some sort of magical thing on my website. It tells me how many people have visited, and that one of them is from Sri Jayawardenapura, Sri Lanka, a city with a name so long I'm surprised it didn't bring down the server. I have never been to Sri Lanka, but it seems like a cool place. It's home to not one, but two subspecies of elephant. They also have jaguars, sloth bears, monkeys, and an animal called a mongoose that looks nothing like a goose at all.



Dear friend from Sri Lanka: I hope you are not finding the current dew point of 75 degrees too treacherous. I hope you have seen a mongoose today, and that it was docile.

In other news, there are tarantulas in the world that can grow to be ten inches, and if that fact doesn't keep you awake at night I don't know what would. Now I'm off to distract myself by finding out what a sloth bear is.

update: oh my goodness they're awesome.

my library is trying to be hipper than yours

Why does the library wait until a month after I graduate to get a "snack zone"?

most terrifying journey ever

Right now I'm working on growing out my hair. This is the sort of work I like, because it's pretty easy to multitask. On my hair journey I'm going to try and have every haircut that exists. I think the current length is called a bob.

This is a picture of what a bob looks like on Victoria Beckham.



Pretty classy, and I'm all about classy. This is a picture of what it looks like on me.

to-do

1. watch this video a hundred times

in a way

I have a book of very easy crosswords that I like to leave out on top of my bag with a pen covering the word "easy." That way when people read the title they have no way of knowing whether the puzzles are very easy or very hard. The fact that the cover has a drawing of a cat playing the guitar could be a clue, unless they stop and ask themselves how difficult it would actually be for a cat to play the guitar. Next to impossible, they would realize. That must be one intense crossword puzzle book.

happy Oil Day

Today, July 10th, is the best day of the year, because at 7:10 the time and the date spell the word "oil" upside down. Sean and I celebrated in style. Here are some photos of the festivities.


Oil Day Weekend present from Sean:


Oil Day beverage:


Oil Day hike


Oil Day animal sighting (Sorry this is a terrible picture but this squirrel licked my ankle. An Oil Day miracle. I probably have rabies now.)


The big event


The Macy's Oil Day parade, the dancing in the streets, and the general Oil Day madness were really a sight to see. I don't have time to upload those pictures because I need to go get this rabies checked out.

it's clock time

I miss how much it rains in Minnesota in the summer. Especially the really intense rain, where it seems like our house might wash away, and my dog stands right next to me so he's under the umbrella, but he still gets soaked and looks so, so skinny.

Tonight it's pouring outside and since my dog isn't here I'm watching Persepolis and eating hot chocolate-flavored ice cream (thank you science). Here you have to enjoy the rain while you can, because it never lasts for as long as you want it to. It's like watching fireworks, or sledding down a huge hill you spent five minutes dragging your sled up, or hot chocolate ice cream.

Chocolate ice cream melts faster than any other flavor, because it has the most extra stuff in it.



Tomorrow night I'll put myself on my 31. Actually no, I probably won't. I just really love trying to use my French slang.

thank heavens

I was hoping I would see a picture like this today.

best video of dolphins with rifles I've seen all week

get your hands off my hamster

People used to think that goldfish only had a memory of 3 seconds. If this were true, goldfish would be horrible pets. Your goldfish wouldn't even know who you were, unless you had seen him in the last couple seconds - they would be like potted plants. Except for my potted plant, who gets so freaking excited every day when I come home from work.

Also, in doing research on animal memories I found this musing on the memory of a hamster:

"my hamster never bit me and me and my sis had a fight with me and she poured oil on my hamster and it always bites me now and the fight was like 2 weeks ago"
-WikiAnswers