Wanderlingness

Good news, I haven't run off to be a bat farmer in Kazikstan, or whatever it is people assume I'm doing when I'm gone for this long.

I have a two-week vacation, so I've been temporarily overcoming my bogging addiction by visiting Austrian hot dog stands, looking at Monets, playing Poker in German, getting lost in the Paris metro, making friends with ferrel and domesticated animals, and taking notes on the adorable things British people say. The other day a cashier in London said "thanks love" while handing me my change, and I thought "how could this be any more awesome?" And then I remembered I was buying Cadbury eggs. Game set match.

I'm going to wait until my wanderingness wears off, so I don't post three thousand photos in my enthusiasm. How will you satisfy your need for irrelevant tennis lingo until then? heaven only knows.

boo

Brooke's Museum of Fan Art recently acquired its inaugural work in its modern art collection, a minimalist piece entitled "I'm happy six years old," by Narmine. The exhibit will be open to the public immediately, provided the public has keys to my apartment.



Critics were moved to tears by the rich purple color - a symbol of the artist's tumultuous relationship with her mother. The white space brings to mind a never-ending loneliness, and the three sides of the triangle remind the viewer of his own mortality.

But all I can say is "Really? A triangle? Kevin just gave me a sweet drawing of a monkey eating noodles (I think) and you drew me a triangle?"

what's green on the outside, orange on the inside, and can hold 10 packages of chocolate?

I wouldn't really be living in France if I hadn't bought a killer purse. France is home to some of the world's top designers, blah, blah, blah, CHECK OUT THIS BEAUTY.



 I've been coveting this sweet children's messenger bag since December, but always talked myself out of buying it. With ridiculous excuses like "It will clash with my lime green sweater" or "I'm only going to buy purses with skateboards on them."

But then I made this chart of the most important features in a purse and realized I had to have it.

That's a little blurry but the point is, it has them all. No bag will ever be as cool as this one; it's mathematically impossible. I guess you could argue that it's not a cat in a bandit mask, but a raccoon. But have you ever seen a raccoon on roller skates? I didn't think so.



I'm also modeling my red scarf with rabbits on it, bringing the total number of animals in this outfit to a sub-par two. I thought I looked really cool in this scarf until just now, when I decided I look like Rosie the Riveter. But that could just be my fierce independence. It's hard to tell. Off to go rob a bank in roller skates, catch you later!

oh how precious

Check out this awesome video.
This is my life. Just multiply the number of guys hitting on her by 30 and subtract all their teeth.

EF - Live The Language - Paris from Albin Holmqvist on Vimeo.

But really, I love France. When I leave I'm going to miss it every day.

seen on

oh hello

Today I saw two women walking down the street. One of them was eating a sandwich, but I guess she wasn't hungry anymore, because she dropped it. She didn't throw it on the ground, she didn't accidentally drop it on the ground, just kind of carelessly released her grip, the way you would drop a seed into a garden or drop powdered sugar onto a pastry. Here sidewalk, take my sandwich. Then she lit a cigarette. It was so perfect that I thought to myself "I don't need to see anything else today. Nothing could be better than that."

But then at an outdoor café I saw a mailman walk up to a man and say "Hey, I've got a letter for you!" And I knew I really didn't need to see anything else today.

But then I was sitting on a bench, bracing myself against an outrageously strong wind, and I noticed a plastic grocery bag on the ground next to me, that took flight, and went about ten feet in the air. It came back down to eye level, hovered a moment, and then rose again, this time really soaring up, above the streetlamps and then above the buildings. Kites had nothing on this plastic bag. Birds had nothing on this plastic bag. Its handles floated behind it like two little plastic fins and it swam all around the courtyard above us.

Something about seeing a shopping bag so high was very off-putting, as though if there was a floating shopping bag there should be floating asparagus, floating baguette, and a floating half-gallon of milk. And now, I really don't need to see anything else today. Unless there's an airborne baguette somewhere. I would be interested in seeing that.

make sure you're sitting down.

Yo Gabba Gabba + The Decemberists = OH MY GOODNESS.



UPDATE: The video disappeared. Try watching it here, and if that doesn't work, call me and I'll sing it for you.

can't fight that logic

8-year-old boy: Brooke, have you ever met the Simpsons?
me: No, they're not real.
boy: Yes they are real. They live in Springfield, in America.
me: They're just a tv show. But on tv, yes they live in America.
boy: Have you seen a school bus?
me: Yeah, kids take them to school.
boy: HA! The Simpsons ride a school bus and school buses are real and the Simpsons are real! I knew it!

that sounds like a terrible song

Most adorable five-year-old girl, on our way to English class:
Are we going to learn today?

Most obnoxious five-year-old girl, in the middle of a song about colors:
Can you teach us the names of all the vegetables, and a song about them?