So good you can almost eat it

This blog is mostly a recipe blog with a hundred random blog posts between each recipe. So here's what you've all been waiting for: last weekend I made a pizza where the crust was made of ground-up cauliflower instad of crust. Because I really love pizza, and I miss it a lot.

Cauliflower pizza sounds disgusting, and I was skeptical until I found rave reviews online:
"Doesn't taste nearly as bad as it sounds."
"Looks just like pizza."
"Tastes a LOT like pizza."

And my favorite:
"I could almost pick up pieces of it and eat them!"

A pizza you can almost eat?! Obviously I had to try it. Instead of linking to the recipe I'll just simplify it for you: probably don't make a pizza out of cauliflower. Sometimes things sound disgusting and taste great, but it's better to just play it safe and eat things that sound great and taste great.

But I loved it. It really did look exactly like a pizza, probably one of those 70-cent Party Pizzas you microwave instead of bake. And those taste a lot like pizza.

Pictures to break up the text! Here's me eating pizza with my sister:



I am 15 and she is 11.

Here are my other sisters, they're 13 but today they're 17:



My brother doesn't like photos but he does love pizza.

This is NOT the pizza I made but I wish it were because look at it:

Here's the time I made granola.

Ode to fitness classes with my little sister

I miss NO LIMITS! class at 5 am Saturday mornings I miss stripping class at 10 at night where we did kickboxing to "Gold Digger" and the teacher wore purple velour pants and hoop earrings and kept telling us to get sweatier I miss the Beginners Yoga class that was so hard we walked out and all the mirrors in the room made it look like we were walking out five times I miss Monday morning Step Aerobics with 10 middle-aged ladies and that one guy that doesn't even know why he's there I miss you.

Powered by tears

One of the hundreds of senior dogs I’m obsessed with got a haircut since the last time I looked at him and is still homeless and still alive and can one of you please adopt him it will be the best decision you ever made.

Maximum train

Remember when you got really into Twister one weekend and wrote L and R on your shoes so you’d be faster, and then you felt dumb because they were your favorite shoes? I’m glad I’m not the only one who did that.

Love interruption

On my twelve-block-walk home tonight I walked by two different couples who happened to be breaking up exactly when I passed them.

Some people might say this needs to happen three times before I can announce that I have a rare gift/curse that causes my very presence to make relationships disintegrate, but I’m feeling pretty confident so I’m going to go ahead and call it now.

As someone who can melt love by simply jaywalking across Davis let me tell you: breaking up in Portland is beautiful in the summer. If you decide to do it I recommend this line I heard:

“You feel like you don’t know me anymore, Katie? Well here’s something you can know: this is over.”

Things I love about getting older

Here's a tip: if you write something wrong try writing over it and if that doesn't work add dots around it.

 

Things I hate about getting older

Everywhere ever

Not sure why I’m making so many charts like this lately but I can tell you they’re extremely important and useful.

Important chart: the hair color of everyone I've ever lived with.

Don't even get me started on all the things this chart is useful for.

Three ways grocery stores should be organized

Shark Attack 6!

The summer movie no one has been waiting for, especially not Paige. If you can read any of the cards you have the vision of a water cheetah and if you can decipher or guess the plot you win a newborn water cheetah cub so fast on both land and sea no one can catch him, especially not Paige.

Smell you later

Girl push-ups

Doctors are the worst because they say things like "I don't like how your face looks" and you don't know whether you should tell them that you're probably going to grow into this nose or assume they mean you look kind of pale.

Doctor I saw for my sore throat: So does your chest hurt?

Me: Honestly, yes. But honestly, I don't think it has to do with my throat - I think it's because on Friday I did some push-ups.

Doctor: How many did you do?

Me: Eight. The "girl" kind. And then an hour later I did two more. Those last two may have been what did it. Or just all of them. Anyway, pretty sure it's because of the push-ups. My arms hurt too.

Doctor: Ok. I'm going to recommend you don't talk for a few days.

Surprise

I would like to open up a minute clinic where patients are treated in literally a minute. Quality would go downhill FAST. You would probably just roll a die or pick a random prescription out of a box. Or, I’d have one of those Halloween games where you reach your hand in and it says you’re touching eyeballs but it’s actually just peeled grapes, or amoxicillin, or used needles.

These pirates are criminals

Thirteen dealbreakers for my younger sisters

This is a combination of 3 lists but is still short enough you can keep it in your wallet.


Long hair
Over 5’10
Shorter than me
Bodybuilder
Wears cowboy boots
Wears Hawaiian shirts
Weird laugh
Wants to live outside Minnesota
Wants to live in the middle of nowhere
Hunter
Gamer
Doesn’t like Taylor Swift
Creeps me out

I hear a symphony

New trading card up, because I’m not 24 anymore but I am young enough to care about making myself a trading card every year? 

I think the best thing to say right now is that when I was 8 I wrote in my journal “Well I think we’ll all remember this year as the year I sneezed really hard one time in lunch and got snot all over my hands and my quesadilla and there were no napkins anywhere.” And thanks to that journal entry, we all do.

wolves love tater tots

Don't tell my landlord, or anyone actually, but go ahead and post it on the internet: I'm subletting my apartment this summer. My spider roommate owns the top 5% of the room, and I own the bottom 95%. And even though the space he gets in proportion to his body is really not fair (it takes him two minutes to walk around his share and I could probably jump across mine, if I really had to), and even though he doesn't pay any rent, we've worked out an awesome agreement.

He:
Stays in the corner.
Does not touch me when I'm sleeping (or awake).
Does not grow any bigger or get any grosser looking.
Gets rid of anything nasty in my room. So far this is limited to flies, but should any wolves or snakes show up I'd still feel safe. Do not mess with this spider.

I:
Let him live.
Do not destroy his web.

Occasionally I fall asleep eating tater tots in hopes that the crumbs will lure more insects into the room for him to eat, or maybe a wolf or two. And that's not even part of the deal. I just do it out of the kindness of my heart.