Don't tell my landlord, or anyone actually, but go ahead and post it on the internet: I'm subletting my apartment this summer. My spider roommate owns the top 5% of the room, and I own the bottom 95%. And even though the space he gets in proportion to his body is really not fair (it takes him two minutes to walk around his share and I could probably jump across mine, if I really had to), and even though he doesn't pay any rent, we've worked out an awesome agreement.
He:
Stays in the corner.
Does not touch me when I'm sleeping (or awake).
Does not grow any bigger or get any grosser looking.
Gets rid of anything nasty in my room. So far this is limited to flies, but should any wolves or snakes show up I'd still feel safe. Do not mess with this spider.
I:
Let him live.
Do not destroy his web.
Occasionally I fall asleep eating tater tots in hopes that the crumbs will lure more insects into the room for him to eat, or maybe a wolf or two. And that's not even part of the deal. I just do it out of the kindness of my heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment
I had to add a captcha because one of my posts has the word "Google" in it and it was attracting spam robots like some sort of honey-covered robot magnet.