June 24, 2012
June 15, 2012
girls LOVE soup
I was talking with someone who hates Zooey Deschanel the other day. She mentioned her latest iPhone commercial and made a good point. The one where she looks out the window and asks “Is that RAIN?” and it’s obviously pouring, and here is the point: Zooey Deschanel is dumb. Maybe not in real life, but her persona is extremely dumb. She hides it with vintage dresses and a shield of bangs and my friend says she makes girls look bad. Here is the commercial in case you're wondering what the weather's like and you love pajamas:
But, I don’t think this is such a bad thing for girls. Does every portrayal of girls need to be good? Do we need to relate to every single girl character? I don’t think boys relate to every boy character. I've never heard a boy complaining that the Pillsbury Dough Boy makes all men look pasty and obsessed with shortbread.
An M&M has eyelashes and suddenly it’s a girl and I need to question its motives and wonder if it reads those tedious intellectual parts of the New Yorker no one reads or just the comics and is it a good portrayal of girls. Non-eyelash M&Ms can run the gamut of personalities and I don’t hear boys freaking out about it. Just a thought. Another thought: maybe if there were more “girl” M&Ms there wouldn’t be so much pressure for them to all be good role models. Also, why eyelashes? Boys have eyelashes too. I’d like to see an M&M in a Justin Bieber t-shirt. Now I want some M&Ms. Is that RAIN?
But, I don’t think this is such a bad thing for girls. Does every portrayal of girls need to be good? Do we need to relate to every single girl character? I don’t think boys relate to every boy character. I've never heard a boy complaining that the Pillsbury Dough Boy makes all men look pasty and obsessed with shortbread.
An M&M has eyelashes and suddenly it’s a girl and I need to question its motives and wonder if it reads those tedious intellectual parts of the New Yorker no one reads or just the comics and is it a good portrayal of girls. Non-eyelash M&Ms can run the gamut of personalities and I don’t hear boys freaking out about it. Just a thought. Another thought: maybe if there were more “girl” M&Ms there wouldn’t be so much pressure for them to all be good role models. Also, why eyelashes? Boys have eyelashes too. I’d like to see an M&M in a Justin Bieber t-shirt. Now I want some M&Ms. Is that RAIN?
June 11, 2012
I'm Paige's favorite dinosaur
Waiting for a hairstylist to call your name is like sitting on a plane and wondering which of the boarding passengers is going to be your seatmate, and a lot of other things like that. Sometimes the girls carrying clipboards into the waiting room look at me expectantly when they call a name. Is that girl eating a bag of peas and drawing lightning bolts in a notebook named Madeline? Erin? Sarah? Is eating peas at a hair salon sanitary? Yes, I'm only in the waiting room and I washed my hands. Sometimes they don’t look at me. The name “Nine” was directed specifically at the girl with the shaved head. What is she even getting done?
Brooke is the role I’ve been given and I feel like I’ve been pretty loyal to it. When people hear Brooke I think they expect someone about like me. Except, probably because of Brooke Shields, it’s usually on lists of top sexiest names. I have been known to wear too-short pants occasionally.
Brooke is the role I’ve been given and I feel like I’ve been pretty loyal to it. When people hear Brooke I think they expect someone about like me. Except, probably because of Brooke Shields, it’s usually on lists of top sexiest names. I have been known to wear too-short pants occasionally.
June 8, 2012
I brush it 100 times a day
I was at Target buying a swimsuit for a trip with my grandmother. I'll give you a minute to get over how much my life rocks.
And we're back. I was test-driving my swimsuit in the booth/stall/whatever when a group of girls took all the stalls around me to do the same thing. The second they closed the doors you could hear this:
"Oh man, I have so much hair on my back."
"Look at this weird shape my stomach makes."
"Is my butt made of HAM? Seriously though. Gross."
As I exited my dressing room (that's what it is) I shielded my eyes to protect myself from what I assumed would be the ugliest-looking group of girls in the world. I was relieved to see that three perfectly normal and pretty-looking girls were blocking the monsters from my view. That's a poorly executed multi-level joke and probably too complex for this story so I'll break it down: these girls who had been shouting about how ugly they were so loudly that all of North Carolina and everyone in the electronics area could hear them, actually looked fine.
Hey half the population of the world: stop hitting yourself.
You and the other half the earth's population are going to have enough people in your life saying bad things about you that you don't need to be one of them. Some day some jerk is going to walk up behind you with a magnifying glass and tell you your back is super hairy. When it comes down to it, no one's got your back but you. I don't care if you're doing it because other people are doing it, or you're fishing for compliments, or your parents are sea slugs and you really are just that hideous: talking yourself down all the time is unattractive.
Do you hate your nose? Smell this: your nose is great. Does your butt look like it's made of ham? Ham is one of the best deli meats. Does your friend have better wrists than you? Chances are, she isn't you. My grandmother rocks a vintage olive green swimsuit like she's on the front or back cover of Sports Illustrated.
So you're at Target, you're in the dressing room I guess, you look in the mirror, and you look terrific. That's all.
Of course I'd be a strange choice of spokesperson for this movement, because I've got a smokin' hot bod. And I've never seen my back, but I bet the hair on it is thick, silky, and lustrous.
And we're back. I was test-driving my swimsuit in the booth/stall/whatever when a group of girls took all the stalls around me to do the same thing. The second they closed the doors you could hear this:
"Oh man, I have so much hair on my back."
"Look at this weird shape my stomach makes."
"Is my butt made of HAM? Seriously though. Gross."
As I exited my dressing room (that's what it is) I shielded my eyes to protect myself from what I assumed would be the ugliest-looking group of girls in the world. I was relieved to see that three perfectly normal and pretty-looking girls were blocking the monsters from my view. That's a poorly executed multi-level joke and probably too complex for this story so I'll break it down: these girls who had been shouting about how ugly they were so loudly that all of North Carolina and everyone in the electronics area could hear them, actually looked fine.
Hey half the population of the world: stop hitting yourself.
You and the other half the earth's population are going to have enough people in your life saying bad things about you that you don't need to be one of them. Some day some jerk is going to walk up behind you with a magnifying glass and tell you your back is super hairy. When it comes down to it, no one's got your back but you. I don't care if you're doing it because other people are doing it, or you're fishing for compliments, or your parents are sea slugs and you really are just that hideous: talking yourself down all the time is unattractive.
Do you hate your nose? Smell this: your nose is great. Does your butt look like it's made of ham? Ham is one of the best deli meats. Does your friend have better wrists than you? Chances are, she isn't you. My grandmother rocks a vintage olive green swimsuit like she's on the front or back cover of Sports Illustrated.
So you're at Target, you're in the dressing room I guess, you look in the mirror, and you look terrific. That's all.
Of course I'd be a strange choice of spokesperson for this movement, because I've got a smokin' hot bod. And I've never seen my back, but I bet the hair on it is thick, silky, and lustrous.
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