Don't look at me

I came to a coffee shop because I need to focus but then two really loud women sat down next to me, but I don’t mind.

They’re sitting within arms reach - so close I could easily touch them - but I didn’t look up when they sat down so I don’t know what they look like, and I do mind that. Not looking up at theses two women is one of my greatest regrets.

“Well she’s having a lot of luck lately.” says the woman closest to me. Close enough for a very loose hug, even, the kind of hug you might give someone at the gym. “What she does now is go to ComicCon and cosplay conventions and gives out stacks of cards that say I saw you looking at me, and that’s not ok, I’m a person.”

“That. Is. So. Great.” her friend exhales slowly.

“Right? It can be hard to say out loud but people need to know, that even though we look this way, the way we look, it’s not ok to look at us."

I have never wanted to look at two people more.

I wonder if I look up at them if they will notice. And if they notice, will they give me a card.

They kept talking, in plain sight but completely unviewable.

“That’s so empowering. And important, because looking is harassment. The occult circle in Seattle had harassment problems years ago and it was terrible. It ripped the witchcraft community apart.

As they pause for a moment of silence for the Seattle witchcraft community I use every muscle in my face to hold my gaze down. I wonder if people will be able to tell later, if my face will be incredibly toned or even sculpted from the self-restraint. I wonder if people will look at me, and I will wish I had cards I could give them that say I’m a person.

I've almost found a new thing to obsess about when one of their friends walks up behind me to meet them. She reaches for a chair at my table and practically screams: “Oh my goodness, look at you two!”

I wish I could, ma'am. That's all I want to do right now.

Later, when they seemed distracted, I looked at them quickly and they look like every other person I've ever seen in my life.