I must think it sound romantic or relaxing, but it's also kind of embarrassing. What am I writing about so often? Haunted houses? Slumber parties? I accidentally typed "slumber pastries" and almost didn't fix it because how incredible does that sound. I don't even know what slumber pastries are but I love them.
April 29, 2013
What do you get when you combine sleeping and pastries?
Today I realized I have 27 Google Docs and 13 blog posts with the phrase "in the middle of the night" including this one (In the middle of the night you'll hear screaming) and this one (reading Stephen King books in the middle of the night), and this one you're reading right now.
April 24, 2013
who needs cheese reviews
If there's one thing about food we can all agree on, it's that it's not very enjoyable unless it's combined with an experiment. Which is why the last time I went to the grocery store I bought milk made from almonds, an expensive spiked fruit, and powdered peanut butter.
Also known as PB2!
If powdered peanut butter were the most popular sandwich topping and you were an astronaut going on a space mission, you would invent regular peanut butter. Powdered peanut butter is peanut butter for earthlings. I would say it's my favorite food, but I'm not sure if it's a food and I'm pretty sure it's not my favorite.
Just add water and it become spreadable. Try eating it plain and you will choke. After these two experiences I moved onto more complicated recipes, with varying results. Here are the results.
Peanut butter yogurt
If this grosses you out you're not ready for the following recipes.
Three stars. ★★★☆
Peanut butter eggs
This was a bad idea. Of all the types of eggs I've made (cinnamon eggs, pizza eggs, spinach eggs, pasta eggs, chili eggs, and blueberry eggs) peanut butter eggs are the definitive worst. I would only recommend them to bodybuilders or people without mouths.
Zero stars. ☆☆☆☆
Hot peanut butter water
At this point I'm probably going to lose all credibility as a peanut butter reviewer but it's worth the risk: hot water mixed with powdered peanut butter is delicious.
Four stars. ★★★★
Peanut butter applesauce
Peanut butter tastes good on apples, so I wondered does it taste good IN apples?! No, it doesn't.
One star. ★☆☆☆
In other news I might have that condition where I have a work-related accident in a factory and lose the ability to taste, but I'm also a time traveller so I lose the ability to taste BEFORE the accident actually happens.
Also known as PB2!
If powdered peanut butter were the most popular sandwich topping and you were an astronaut going on a space mission, you would invent regular peanut butter. Powdered peanut butter is peanut butter for earthlings. I would say it's my favorite food, but I'm not sure if it's a food and I'm pretty sure it's not my favorite.
Just add water and it become spreadable. Try eating it plain and you will choke. After these two experiences I moved onto more complicated recipes, with varying results. Here are the results.
Peanut butter yogurt
If this grosses you out you're not ready for the following recipes.
Three stars. ★★★☆
Peanut butter eggs
This was a bad idea. Of all the types of eggs I've made (cinnamon eggs, pizza eggs, spinach eggs, pasta eggs, chili eggs, and blueberry eggs) peanut butter eggs are the definitive worst. I would only recommend them to bodybuilders or people without mouths.
Zero stars. ☆☆☆☆
Hot peanut butter water
At this point I'm probably going to lose all credibility as a peanut butter reviewer but it's worth the risk: hot water mixed with powdered peanut butter is delicious.
Four stars. ★★★★
Peanut butter applesauce
Peanut butter tastes good on apples, so I wondered does it taste good IN apples?! No, it doesn't.
One star. ★☆☆☆
In other news I might have that condition where I have a work-related accident in a factory and lose the ability to taste, but I'm also a time traveller so I lose the ability to taste BEFORE the accident actually happens.
April 12, 2013
10 million things in Portland: reading edition
I like Portland. Some people have never been. Visit Portland! Here are four of the ten million reasons you should.
Powell’s
I feel like most bookstores just have Moleskine notebooks. Powells is actually filled with books. It’s like a giant library where you can keep anything forever, you just have to pay a few dollars. AND they have Moleskine notebooks!
Reading Frenzy
Reading Frenzy is a supposedly great "zine" shop that I have been told to visit about thirty times. Then a few weeks ago someone told me they were out of business and then last week someone told me there was a Kickstarter to get them back in business. I'm sure they will go back in then out of business thirty times until one day my grandchildren are too busy teleporting and feeding asteroid bits to feral space cats to ever find out what a zine is. I hear they are amazing.
Central Library
My Multnomah County library card was the fifth library card I’d registered for in three years, and the process gets so much easier each time that I’m probably going start signing up for library cards on accident. I literally can’t find any books in this library. I don’t mean I can’t find the books I want, I meant I can’t find any objects that have a lot of printed pages bound together. There are several bathrooms and staircases. The library card was free.
The Bus
Reading on the bus seems like a great idea, but I usually ride the bus for such a short amount of time that I can only read about a page, and it takes a quarter of a page to remember what was going on when I was last reading. If you want to read on the bus for that length of time I recommend haikus, or one page of words you really love reading. Most people’s favorite word is their own name so my advice is the next time you wear a name tag, save it, and read it whenever you have a spare minute on the bus.
Powell’s
I feel like most bookstores just have Moleskine notebooks. Powells is actually filled with books. It’s like a giant library where you can keep anything forever, you just have to pay a few dollars. AND they have Moleskine notebooks!
Reading Frenzy
Reading Frenzy is a supposedly great "zine" shop that I have been told to visit about thirty times. Then a few weeks ago someone told me they were out of business and then last week someone told me there was a Kickstarter to get them back in business. I'm sure they will go back in then out of business thirty times until one day my grandchildren are too busy teleporting and feeding asteroid bits to feral space cats to ever find out what a zine is. I hear they are amazing.
Central Library
My Multnomah County library card was the fifth library card I’d registered for in three years, and the process gets so much easier each time that I’m probably going start signing up for library cards on accident. I literally can’t find any books in this library. I don’t mean I can’t find the books I want, I meant I can’t find any objects that have a lot of printed pages bound together. There are several bathrooms and staircases. The library card was free.
The Bus
Reading on the bus seems like a great idea, but I usually ride the bus for such a short amount of time that I can only read about a page, and it takes a quarter of a page to remember what was going on when I was last reading. If you want to read on the bus for that length of time I recommend haikus, or one page of words you really love reading. Most people’s favorite word is their own name so my advice is the next time you wear a name tag, save it, and read it whenever you have a spare minute on the bus.
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