Love interruption

On my twelve-block-walk home tonight I walked by two different couples who happened to be breaking up exactly when I passed them.

Some people might say this needs to happen three times before I can announce that I have a rare gift/curse that causes my very presence to make relationships disintegrate, but I’m feeling pretty confident so I’m going to go ahead and call it now.

As someone who can melt love by simply jaywalking across Davis let me tell you: breaking up in Portland is beautiful in the summer. If you decide to do it I recommend this line I heard:

“You feel like you don’t know me anymore, Katie? Well here’s something you can know: this is over.”

Thirteen dealbreakers for my younger sisters

This is a combination of 3 lists but is still short enough you can keep it in your wallet.


Long hair
Over 5’10
Shorter than me
Bodybuilder
Wears cowboy boots
Wears Hawaiian shirts
Weird laugh
Wants to live outside Minnesota
Wants to live in the middle of nowhere
Hunter
Gamer
Doesn’t like Taylor Swift
Creeps me out