I'm the main character in the most boring movie ever

It's pretty lame but the main reason I wear scarves  is because when I'm wearing a scarf and I see my reflection, I think that I look like a photo my robot kids will see someday that will make them say "oh man my mom used to be cool."

Because one day I'll be really into chess, or whatever moms are into, and I'm sure I'll have gingivitis, and my kids will tease me about how bad I am at teleporting and they'll ask me what it was like to breathe oxygen growing up, but there will be photos to prove that once upon a time I was 26-going-on-35 and this is what a photo of those days would look like.

And then the second reason to wear them is look how messy my hair is here:



Just kidding, you can't tell how messy it is.