We live on the third floor and we shared a dark, creepy stairwell with an awesome couple, until they moved out in April. When months passed and no one moved in, I started complaining that we didn't have any stairwell friends. I spoke too soon.
No one knows what horribly evil place they came from, how they got here, or why we specifically were cursed. All I do know is that the day the birds arrived was an especially dark day. I heard high-pitched violin music and an ominous mist filled the apartment complex.
Our new stairwell companions are two giant, black, swooping birds. Swooping may not sound like an adjective that evokes terror but believe me, it should. One bird sits on top of our door frame and the other sits on the emergency handle across from our door. They sit there and they wait until I forget about them and step outside. As soon as I do the bird on our door swoops down and waves his feathers at me, and the emergency handle bird makes a beeline for my face. Then they both start pecking my eyes out while I scream for mercy. The last part was added for dramatic effect, but seriously, these birds are not normal birds.
Nothing I do will scare them away for more then five minutes. And sometimes, when I peek out to see if it's safe, the emergency handle one just stares at me, with those creepy beady bird eyes. They can't be building a nest on top of our door frame. Why would they build a nest there? No, they're probably just waiting until the right moment to peck my eyes out.
No comments:
Post a Comment
I had to add a captcha because one of my posts has the word "Google" in it and it was attracting spam robots like some sort of honey-covered robot magnet.