can't hurry love

Lately I've been wondering how I could have more nightmares.

Or that's what ended up happening. Originally I just wanted to adopt a dog.

A tiny dog! Who would be excited to see me when I come home (after I find somewhere to go) and I can feed him dog treats and we can watch tv together and go on walks and stay up late talking about what happened on the bachelor.

So Saturday we went to the dog shelter, and I picked a random one that seemed promising. "What about that brown dachshund?" I asked - it was hard to see much in the huge pile of dogs scrambling over each other. The worker at the shelter took him and put us in a special room with him, so we could get a closer look. Huge mistake.

He had a long tail like a rat, and a creepy way of running around in circles through the same puddle of urine over and over again. And the worst of it was, he completely ignored us. Why wasn't he rushing toward me, ready to be loved and taken on walks and fed chicken when no one was watching? Where was my bachelor-watching buddy?

He must have heard my thoughts he stopped his mad pacing and seemed to notice us for the first time. He gazed slowly at me, then at Sean. Then he headed toward Sean at a determined sprint, and blew his nose on his pants, leaving a huge bloodstain. That broke the spell, and it was right back to mad pacing through the puddle of urine. Only now we were screaming and the dog was making a crazy bloody snorting sound.

"I think he liked you" I said as we peeled out of the shelter parking lot.

We actually might not be getting a dog anytime soon.