looking for a low-budget time machine

My trip home is at least three times more exciting than yours, and I don't even know if there's an in-flight movie yet.

I got an email last month about some awesome new changes to my itinerary. What was previously a boring old Marseille-Paris-Atlanta-home flight has become a fascinating trip all over Europe that treated the laws of time as loose guidelines: several trips from Marseille to Paris in a row, an overnight stay in Germany, and no transatlantic flight. I called the airline and they gladly remedied the situation. Here is the solution they came up with:

A flight from Marseille to Paris, followed by three different flights from Paris to Atlanta, all at the exact same time, and then from Atlanta to home.

I am tough to please. I called the airline again, and the customer service agent looked up my schedule. "Ah, yes, this is what we call a 'residue.'" she explained. "Please be aware that you will need to catch all three flights to Atlanta at once, or your final flight will be cancelled and you will not get your luggage."

I'm usually pretty optimistic, but I have low expectations for my ability to fly on three different planes at the same time, and when I explained this to the agent she said she would see what she could do and hung up on me. The next two did the same thing. There could be a problem with their phone connection, or maybe they just love doing everything in threes, or maybe they just love doing everything in threes, or maybe they just love doing everything in threes.