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While I was waiting in line for the bathroom at a Kanye concert the other night, a woman wearing bright green eye makeup started chatting with me. "Who knew there would be so much sun today!" she chirped. "I'm like totally red!"

"Yeah," I answered. Cautiously. Because I have a bad reputation of saying awkward things around strangers. "You DO have a lot of color on your face... and I'm not just talking about your bright green eye makeup."

Then I weighed my post-gaffe options: high pitched fake laugher or staring intently at the paper towel dispenser. Staring won. 

If I ever make any friends it will be a miracle. Having this outfit wouldn't hurt my chances.