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I already know why you're reading this.

You had a weird feeling just now, that something was different in the world, so you went to the world's numberone source of breaking news, Sky Machines.

You're going to be glad you did, because your instincts were dead on. After a month of sleeping on a (surprisingly comfortable) camping mattress, I broke down and...


PURCHASED A BED.

And while I was at it...


PURCHASED A DESK.



And a plant. She's already heard stories about what I've done to plants in the past. No, I haven't named her. Lately I'm trying to save every good name in the world because when I get a dog soon I don't want anyone to say, isn't that the same name you gave to a potted plant last year? In college I had two cactuses named Mary Kate and Ashley and I'm still kicking myself for wasting that one. When I complete the room with a fish maybe I'll give the two of them a pair of names. I think they'll get along because fish and plants have a similar IQ. No offense to plants.

If you skipped that last paragraph, welcome back. As I was saying, the combination of not needing to hunch over my tiny cardboard desk AND sleeping on a real mattress makes me feel twenty years younger.

When I was out running this morning (after a night of sleeping like a toddler) I saw a half-rotten broken bookshelf lying on the side of the road! Fabulous furniture is one of many perks of this new route I've been running. There are also palm trees, more dogs, and fewer groups of old men that sit together on benches and stare at people who run by.

When my roommate saw me coming up the stairs with it she didn't ask what on earth it was or why I left to go for a run and came home with it. In fact, she'd already told me a week ago that I should disinfect any trash I brought in the apartment. So all she had to say was "Good morning!" It's nice to have roommates who know you well. And the best part is that it's the perfect size for my room.



I turned it on its side because the top is missing. Considering the fact that delusional people are trying to sell used bookcases on Craigslist for $120, I think this is a steal. And according to LA curbside furniture laws, I could be right.