I know it's the plot of countless television shows but here is something almost as cheesy: the other day I was out with friends and smelled burning, and I knew it meant I had left my hair straightener turned on at home. I knew this because I actually don't have a sense of smell, and only have phantom smells when I'm stressed, when someone asks me to smell something and my brain invents what it might smell like, and in this case when I'm using my sixth sense.
I don't believe in many magical things, even though I'm curious about aliens and would love to hear any ghost stories if you know any. But I do believe in my simultaneous inability to smell the chicken I'm eating and ability to smell my apartment burning down a city over, because that is not magic that is just what happens.
When I got home everything was hot but nothing was on fire yet, so I said a quick prayer to the gods of hair appliances, turned off my straightener, and forgot about the whole thing. Until today when THREE fire trucks rushed down my street because an apartment a few blocks over was on fire. I think I used up all the good luck our neighborhood had and now we're fresh out.
Please tell me about any personal experiences you've had with ghosts in the comments.
Also, if you know any names of gods of hair appliances I would love to hear them. The only ones I can remember are Chi, the all-powerful god of volume and Conair, the benevolent goddess of shine. I really should have studied more in high school, you never know when these things are going to come up.
Big hair is the worst. If the god of volume demanded an offering I'd give him a moldy piece of toast with Marmite smeared on it.
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