can your lipstick do this?

Today I had nothing on my calendar so I wrote "wear red lipstick" and I walked around town for three hours in silent protest of my shin splints that don't let me run anymore. No word from the shin splints yet but I think they go the message.

About once a week I wear my hair in a weird freakish-looking bun on top of my head, which makes people do this hilarious thing where they say "Hey Brookeeeeee..." When they hit the Br we solidly lock eyes and by the ee's they've trailed up six inches to the top of my head and just kind of rest there.

I feel like I owe it to the rest of my sex, who are greeted with eye contact and a glance twelve inches down no matter how they wear their hair. It's the least I can do.

But today I did the lipstick. Nothing exciting happened except that THREE people asked if I could read things for them because they had forgotten their glasses. That's three more than usual.

One woman asked me to read the size on a shoe she was trying on. She couldn't figure out why all of the shoes were so big. I pointed out she was in the men's section and she got very flustered and thanked me. She really should not be leaving home without her glasses.

One woman asked me to read her horoscope to her. It said she should take more time to herself. Is it just me or are horoscopes and fortune cookies getting fluffier than they used to? What happened to the horoscopes that said things like "If you wear red lipstick on the 10th you will get hit by a car? And if I can't trust a horoscope to let me know something like that, who can I trust? Scary times.

 

If I do get hit by a car, I have a feeling the woman in the men's shoe section will be driving it.