I'm leaving LA without ever seeing a celebrity

No, that guy with the crazy hair that I always talk about seeing doesn't count. To be honest, I don't think he was famous. I think he just had crazy hair.

Starting next week I'm going to be jaywalking, eating french fries, and making too much eye contact with homeless people in a brand-new city. Which one? Read on to the next sentence to find out!

Oh man, what if I did one of those scrolling things from chain emails where you scroll down for days?

   __       __   ____       ____
   ) \     / (   )   \     /   (
  )_  \_V_/  _(   )_  \_V_/  _(
    )__   __(       )__   __(           
       `-'             `-'

Remember those?

                     /\/\
        ___--~^~~--_(-  -)_--~~^~--___
       ^\      HOORAY 4 TENNIS       /^
          \   /\   /\    /\   /\   /
            \/   \/  \  /   \/  \/
                     ^\/^

Didn't you love those?

                 _..-'(                       )`-.._
              ./'. '||\\.       (\_/)       .//||` .`\.
           ./'.|'.'||||\\|..    )*.*(    ..|//||||`.`|.`\.
        ./'..|'.|| |||||\```````  "  '''''''/||||| ||.`|..`\.
      ./'.||'.|||| ||||||||||||.     .|||||||||||| ||||.`||.`\.
     /'|||'.|||||| ||||||||||||{     }|||||||||||| ||||||.`|||`\
    '.|||'.||||||| ||||||||||||{     }|||||||||||| |||||||.`|||.`
   '.||| ||||||||| |/'   ``\||/`     '\||/''   `\| ||||||||| |||.`
   |/' \./'     `\./          |/\   /\|          \./'     `\./ `\|
   V    V         V          }' `\ /' `{          V         V    V

No, guess not. Portland! I'm moving to Portland.

I don't know a lot about Portland yet except that it will be awesome and that people bike a lot there. Apparently there's even a restaurant where the electricity is powered by stationary bikes at all the tables. I have wanted to do that for years but in a GYM because think of all the people moving in a gym, you could power a city. Feel free to use that idea. And stay tuned for more great ideas, sent to you via the internet, from Portland.

How many times do you think I said "Portland" in this post?



football plays football plays football plays football plays

I miss you already LA.