cake isn't even one of them.

My doctor says that we could do a bone marrow biopsy but that there's no need because I had one recently.

A bone marrow biopsy is where they drill a hole into your back and pull out a chunk of your bones, to look at the liquid inside them. The drill they use to drill through bones is extremely loud. And then while you're lying there and the drugs are wearing off, the doctor will bring by the piece of your bone, now outside of your body, and show it to you even though you asked not to see. The scar from my bone marrow biopsy is almost invisible now which is too bad because it was my favorite scar. So I don't need a bone marrow biopsy.

"But we COULD." My doctor says, as though it might be a good back-up plan if there aren't any promising movies coming out this weekend. "And it would be so easy because you're skinny, we could do it easy."

Now I'm deciding which of my remaining scars is my favorite and there aren't a lot to chose from. I'm wondering if I should begin husbanding large cats or enroll in a left-handed welding class so my skin will have more stories to tell. My doctor is still talking about bone marrow biopsies.

"And old skinny women - oh man. There's nothing better than doing bone marrow biopsies on old skinny women. Their bones are as soft as cake."

I can think of about 48 thousand better things.

30,078 pineapple-flavored foods

30,079 seeing a feral cat

30,080 getting sand in your eyes

30,081 trying to match a ton of similar-but-slightly-different socks

30,082 when you're not sure if someone is a man or a woman

30,083 free shipping

30,084 saving enough ice cream punches to get a free cone

30,085 new jeans that dye your legs blue

30,086 accidentally shutting the car door on your seat belt

30,087 heather gray

30,088 the number four

30,089 guessing the next word in a song you don't know