Mini is like small, but smaller.

I only hate five things.

I hate high tops.

Let's take the worst thing about shoes - how long it takes to tie and untie them, and make it twice as bad.

I hate when people ask how to spell my name.

I know that's a useful trick to ask someone their name if you can't remember it. But my name is hard to remember and very easy to spell. I sound crazy spelling my name to you and you're not fooling anyone.

I hate subtitles on movies.

Not because they're in another language but because I get so absorbed in reading that I might as well have a plane sky-write the script of the movie. It wouldn't be more convenient or cheaper, but I could be outside.

I hate creative sizes at restaurants.

Just because I'm buying sixteen ounces of ice cream at Cold Stone doesn't mean I've lost enough self-respect to say something like "I'd like a Gotta Have It, please."

I hate too-small hoods.

The only thing that beats having a nice warm dry back-of-the-head and a soaking wet face is everything else on earth.