I don't know if any of you lowlifes have ever gone to the top of the Empire State Building without a VIP pass. I've heard it takes several hours. The line for regular people is divided between several different floors - it slowly snakes around, and every half hour you get to take the elevator up another floor to another line. And as you wait there, I walk past the crowd and flash my VIP pass. The employees unhook the velvet rope and lead me into a gold-plated VIP elevator, and I'm at the top in 25 seconds.
That's the Empire State Building, VIP style.
This is a New York pidgeon, not a Marseille pidgeon. You can tell the difference because French ones wear little scarves. And track suits.
It was hard to come down from my VIP trip to the Empire State Building. The elevator trip itself was easy - but it was hard to come back down to the level of you common people. While we waited in line to order lunch, and it took everything I had not to go to the front and whisper "Excuse me, VIP pass." It took years to readjust to life as a regular person, and it wasn't until today that I was reminded that I am, in fact, a little bit more important than everyone else.
I went to McDonalds at 8 this morning, to get an expensive jus d'orange and use the free internet. Every time I go to McDonalds in the morning I try to get french fries. I don't care if it's 8 am, I love fries. To which McDonalds always responds that it doesn't care if I love fries, it's 8 am. I always give it a shot.
"Do you make fries this early?" I asked. "No," said the employee. I grabbed my orange juice and started to walk away, but he continued. "Not usually. But I can make some for you, it will just take five minutes."
Looks like my VIP pass is back in business.
PS all this talk of my wealth makes me think about butlers, and reminds me of the website Ask Jeeves. Do you remember that website? The internet has had some wild times.
LOL
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