that's all
August 31, 2010
animal fact of the week: wasps can control your mind
Today's Animal Fact of the Week is that tiger moth caterpillars hear with their hair. I don't want a picture of this thing haunting my blog but you can click here to see one. Tiger moth caterpillars are deaf and blind, but they have long hairs that can sense vibration.
They can only hear one note, middle C, because that's the note their predators' wings make as they swoop toward them. Their predators are parasitic moths, and I'm not going to tell you about them because it's way too gross. Fine, if you really insist on knowing: the wasps lay eggs under the caterpillars' skin which hatch inside them and take over their bodies before eating them alive!
additional reading:
Alien Empire (first line: "Imagine being eaten alive - from the inside out!")
Zombie caterpillars controlled by voodoo wasps
If you shave a tiger moth caterpillar it won't be able to hear anymore. Who would shave a caterpillar? A horse probably. Horses are terrible people.
So far, my hair has no known talents.
They can only hear one note, middle C, because that's the note their predators' wings make as they swoop toward them. Their predators are parasitic moths, and I'm not going to tell you about them because it's way too gross. Fine, if you really insist on knowing: the wasps lay eggs under the caterpillars' skin which hatch inside them and take over their bodies before eating them alive!
additional reading:
Alien Empire (first line: "Imagine being eaten alive - from the inside out!")
Zombie caterpillars controlled by voodoo wasps
If you shave a tiger moth caterpillar it won't be able to hear anymore. Who would shave a caterpillar? A horse probably. Horses are terrible people.
So far, my hair has no known talents.
August 30, 2010
he haunts my nightmares
Reason I loved working in the adlab this summer #85: check out the music video we made!
So much pain, so much fun, so much fear of that guy with the drawn-on mustache.
You can see me in this video, if you have the vision of an Andean condor. It's going to be on the front page of YouTube tomorrow.
So much pain, so much fun, so much fear of that guy with the drawn-on mustache.
You can see me in this video, if you have the vision of an Andean condor. It's going to be on the front page of YouTube tomorrow.
August 29, 2010
wearing my fiber content on my sleeve
This is what I wore today.
And yes, this is also my application photo for America's Next Top Model, thanks for asking. I'm bringing the "Awkward Lean and Smirk" to the masses.
I was feeling pretty awesome until halfway through the day I noticed this:
As personal wardrobe malfunctions go, this certainly doesn't top the time in kindergarten I pulled off my sweater on the playground and my shirt came off with it. That event boldly up-seated the day I tucked my dress into my underwear when I was four. But both incidents were put to shame when in third grade I wore a boat-neck sweater, and while I was playing tag with a boy I liked the neck of the sweater somehow became wider than my shoulders. Hopefully nothing ever tops that. Fashion is really hard.
And yes, this is also my application photo for America's Next Top Model, thanks for asking. I'm bringing the "Awkward Lean and Smirk" to the masses.
I was feeling pretty awesome until halfway through the day I noticed this:
As personal wardrobe malfunctions go, this certainly doesn't top the time in kindergarten I pulled off my sweater on the playground and my shirt came off with it. That event boldly up-seated the day I tucked my dress into my underwear when I was four. But both incidents were put to shame when in third grade I wore a boat-neck sweater, and while I was playing tag with a boy I liked the neck of the sweater somehow became wider than my shoulders. Hopefully nothing ever tops that. Fashion is really hard.
August 26, 2010
the saddest painting in the world
How early is too early to start packing? I already have everything in my suitcases except for a couple strange things I don't need this year.
Like the three bottles of lotion I'm trying to use up in the next two weeks - my skin has never felt so soft.
And this gem of a cat painting I'm donating to the local thrift store.
Like the three bottles of lotion I'm trying to use up in the next two weeks - my skin has never felt so soft.
And this gem of a cat painting I'm donating to the local thrift store.
August 25, 2010
soaring out of the ocean, covered in seashells
I spent a long time trying to think of a cool first sentence for this blog post, but it's really not so much cool as incredibly nerdy. I'm getting so stoked about doing Pèlerinage de Saint-Jacques-de-Compostelle next year. It's a medieval pilgrimage to where St James is buried in Santiago de Compostela, in Spain.
In the middle ages the pilgrimage route was a huge deal, you would walk from your front door to the church in Spain and for some people the trip took months. Some pilgrims did it for fun and some did it to be forgiven for sins, which is fun too. But after the Black Plague everyone's schedules got a little crazy, and then television was invented and people were too busy with that (missing a couple years of history here). Anyway, now it's cool again, and you can walk on the same paths they took in the Middle Ages. I want to take the path that starts in Southern France and goes through Spain.
The Way of St James combines everything I like: hiking, France, and medieval history. I can't think of any better combination, unless there were animals, and there probably will be sheep so that's covered too. The whole time you get to see awesome mountains and castles like these:
And there are seashells like this one that mark the path.
No one can agree on what their historical symbolism is, but most stories involve someone drowning in the ocean and then soaring out of the water alive, covered in seashells. I love it.
Walking from Marseille area to Santiago de Compostela would take over a month, so I'm going to do an abbreviated trip probably. But I am so excited. If you're going to be in France, you should come with me. If you're not going to be in France you should be. France is the place to be right now.
In the middle ages the pilgrimage route was a huge deal, you would walk from your front door to the church in Spain and for some people the trip took months. Some pilgrims did it for fun and some did it to be forgiven for sins, which is fun too. But after the Black Plague everyone's schedules got a little crazy, and then television was invented and people were too busy with that (missing a couple years of history here). Anyway, now it's cool again, and you can walk on the same paths they took in the Middle Ages. I want to take the path that starts in Southern France and goes through Spain.
The Way of St James combines everything I like: hiking, France, and medieval history. I can't think of any better combination, unless there were animals, and there probably will be sheep so that's covered too. The whole time you get to see awesome mountains and castles like these:
And there are seashells like this one that mark the path.
No one can agree on what their historical symbolism is, but most stories involve someone drowning in the ocean and then soaring out of the water alive, covered in seashells. I love it.
Walking from Marseille area to Santiago de Compostela would take over a month, so I'm going to do an abbreviated trip probably. But I am so excited. If you're going to be in France, you should come with me. If you're not going to be in France you should be. France is the place to be right now.
August 23, 2010
animal fact of the week: sloth bears need your help
Good news faithful readers: Animal Fact of the Week is back! This week's animal is the sloth bear.
The sloth bear has a crazy name because for years no one could agree whether it was a sloth or a bear. Now I think we're fairly confident it's a bear? Whatever it is, it is awesome. The perfect combination of two great animals, the sloth bear is clumsy, can climb trees and swim, and carries its babies on its back.
The most famous sloth bear is Baloo, the bear in The Jungle Book. That was my favorite movie for a long time, because I wanted to be a monkey when I grew up. And Baloo was my favorite character because I liked his world view.
Almost everything from Jungle Book ended up being true about sloth bears. They suck bugs out of the ground just like Baloo does. In some countries they even dance like he does, because people trap them and pull out their teeth and force them to dance. It is the saddest thing I have ever seen. If you can think of anything to do to stop this let me know.
The only thing Jungle Book didn't mention is that sloth bears are incredibly violent, and they kill humans in the most gruesome way possible. Anyway, that's all about sloth bears for now - they are cute and they are abused but there aren't too many facts about them. Next week's animal will have some more engaging talents.
The sloth bear has a crazy name because for years no one could agree whether it was a sloth or a bear. Now I think we're fairly confident it's a bear? Whatever it is, it is awesome. The perfect combination of two great animals, the sloth bear is clumsy, can climb trees and swim, and carries its babies on its back.
The most famous sloth bear is Baloo, the bear in The Jungle Book. That was my favorite movie for a long time, because I wanted to be a monkey when I grew up. And Baloo was my favorite character because I liked his world view.
Almost everything from Jungle Book ended up being true about sloth bears. They suck bugs out of the ground just like Baloo does. In some countries they even dance like he does, because people trap them and pull out their teeth and force them to dance. It is the saddest thing I have ever seen. If you can think of anything to do to stop this let me know.
The only thing Jungle Book didn't mention is that sloth bears are incredibly violent, and they kill humans in the most gruesome way possible. Anyway, that's all about sloth bears for now - they are cute and they are abused but there aren't too many facts about them. Next week's animal will have some more engaging talents.
August 22, 2010
idleness and chocolate
If you're looking for a good Sunday afternoon activity I recommend sitting down with a huge bag of M&Ms and reading Essays in Idleness, by Yoshida Kenko.
I think half of why I love Yoshida Kenko so much is because I can't even get my brain around the fact that he lived 700 years ago. That's when Chrétien de Troyes was writing (and he's awesome too).
And I think the other half is that even though he lived 700 years ago on the other side of the world everything he says is pretty dead-on, and he just tells it how it is. I feel like he could write for a magazine. Maybe not the technology section, but still.
And I think he would have liked M&Ms. He'd be crazy not to.
"The pleasantest of all diversions is to sit alone under the lamp, a book spread out before you, and to make friends with people of a distant past you have never known."
I think half of why I love Yoshida Kenko so much is because I can't even get my brain around the fact that he lived 700 years ago. That's when Chrétien de Troyes was writing (and he's awesome too).
"A certain recluse, I know not who, once said that no bonds attached him to this life, and the only thing he would regret leaving was the sky."
And I think the other half is that even though he lived 700 years ago on the other side of the world everything he says is pretty dead-on, and he just tells it how it is. I feel like he could write for a magazine. Maybe not the technology section, but still.
One should never make a show of having a deep knowledge of any subject. Well-bred people do not talk in a superior way even about things they have a good knowledge of.
And I think he would have liked M&Ms. He'd be crazy not to.
August 21, 2010
just roving
I was packing up my dvds today and I realized half of them are seasons of Meerkat Manor. Then I wondered why I own the complete series of Meerkat Manor. Then I remembered it's the best show ever.
See you in May, meerkats.
See you in May, meerkats.
I promise this isn't a salad
There are a lot of French idioms that are so logical, like "having a cat in your throat" (getting a cough or a weird voice), and there are ones that are awesome, like "telling someone a salad" (telling lies).
And then there are idioms that aren't logical or awesome.
Some girls living in Marseille just emailed me and said that we should be roommates. "You would be perfect in the sein of our apartment!" they said. And I thought "Sein must not mean what I thought it meant." But it does. And I guess it's a nice way of telling someone they will fit right in.
Eighteen days until I leave! I hope my visa gets here soon.
And then there are idioms that aren't logical or awesome.
Some girls living in Marseille just emailed me and said that we should be roommates. "You would be perfect in the sein of our apartment!" they said. And I thought "Sein must not mean what I thought it meant." But it does. And I guess it's a nice way of telling someone they will fit right in.
Eighteen days until I leave! I hope my visa gets here soon.
August 19, 2010
time to migrate
There are a number of reasons I don't like our apartment, but before this week none of them were "it could be the set of a horror movie."
We live on the third floor and we shared a dark, creepy stairwell with an awesome couple, until they moved out in April. When months passed and no one moved in, I started complaining that we didn't have any stairwell friends. I spoke too soon.
No one knows what horribly evil place they came from, how they got here, or why we specifically were cursed. All I do know is that the day the birds arrived was an especially dark day. I heard high-pitched violin music and an ominous mist filled the apartment complex.
Our new stairwell companions are two giant, black, swooping birds. Swooping may not sound like an adjective that evokes terror but believe me, it should. One bird sits on top of our door frame and the other sits on the emergency handle across from our door. They sit there and they wait until I forget about them and step outside. As soon as I do the bird on our door swoops down and waves his feathers at me, and the emergency handle bird makes a beeline for my face. Then they both start pecking my eyes out while I scream for mercy. The last part was added for dramatic effect, but seriously, these birds are not normal birds.
Nothing I do will scare them away for more then five minutes. And sometimes, when I peek out to see if it's safe, the emergency handle one just stares at me, with those creepy beady bird eyes. They can't be building a nest on top of our door frame. Why would they build a nest there? No, they're probably just waiting until the right moment to peck my eyes out.
We live on the third floor and we shared a dark, creepy stairwell with an awesome couple, until they moved out in April. When months passed and no one moved in, I started complaining that we didn't have any stairwell friends. I spoke too soon.
No one knows what horribly evil place they came from, how they got here, or why we specifically were cursed. All I do know is that the day the birds arrived was an especially dark day. I heard high-pitched violin music and an ominous mist filled the apartment complex.
Our new stairwell companions are two giant, black, swooping birds. Swooping may not sound like an adjective that evokes terror but believe me, it should. One bird sits on top of our door frame and the other sits on the emergency handle across from our door. They sit there and they wait until I forget about them and step outside. As soon as I do the bird on our door swoops down and waves his feathers at me, and the emergency handle bird makes a beeline for my face. Then they both start pecking my eyes out while I scream for mercy. The last part was added for dramatic effect, but seriously, these birds are not normal birds.
Nothing I do will scare them away for more then five minutes. And sometimes, when I peek out to see if it's safe, the emergency handle one just stares at me, with those creepy beady bird eyes. They can't be building a nest on top of our door frame. Why would they build a nest there? No, they're probably just waiting until the right moment to peck my eyes out.
August 16, 2010
August 15, 2010
give me the ric-rac and no one gets hurt
One month until I'm in France! Which means 46 days until my first day of teaching.
The first half of "teaching in France," the teaching part, is starting to freak me out. Because I'm actually not a very good kid person. I don't have a good kid voice and I'm not good at singing songs, making weird faces, or enforcing rules. I'm getting nervous.
But I've heard that one thing French kids really like is stickers, so I thought maybe that would make me cool. After a couple months of obsessive collecting I have about 7,000 stickers, and know how to find the best prices (5 per cent) and the rarest designs (gender-neutral ones).
The only thing that scares me more than children right now is that everyone says stickers are a gateway craft item. It's just one aisle away from the stamps, then the crazy scissors and googly-eyes. Before you know it I'm in craft rehab, sniffing glitter glue and scratching "Live, Laugh, Love" on the walls of my room with my fingernails.
I promise I'm going cold turkey after this year.
The first half of "teaching in France," the teaching part, is starting to freak me out. Because I'm actually not a very good kid person. I don't have a good kid voice and I'm not good at singing songs, making weird faces, or enforcing rules. I'm getting nervous.
But I've heard that one thing French kids really like is stickers, so I thought maybe that would make me cool. After a couple months of obsessive collecting I have about 7,000 stickers, and know how to find the best prices (5 per cent) and the rarest designs (gender-neutral ones).
The only thing that scares me more than children right now is that everyone says stickers are a gateway craft item. It's just one aisle away from the stamps, then the crazy scissors and googly-eyes. Before you know it I'm in craft rehab, sniffing glitter glue and scratching "Live, Laugh, Love" on the walls of my room with my fingernails.
I promise I'm going cold turkey after this year.
August 13, 2010
I'm eating an enraged cow
As my knowledge of French idioms expands, this blog will slowly become even less comprehensible than it already is. To both French and English speakers.
The cocktail of prescription drugs I'm taking (watch your back, bronchitis) has really messed me up this week. Most of them cause "racing heart" and "a sense of nervousness," which I hoped would be balanced by my other medication's side-effect of "an increased sense of well-being" But actually the combination is disturbing.
I don't know how to describe it except to say that I feel like early tomorrow morning I'm taking my driver's license test, speaking in public, and then going to Disneyland. There's a tarantula on my shoulder and the room won't stop spinning. I can't shake the feeling that I'm forgetting something important. And dang, I just feel good about myself.
The cocktail of prescription drugs I'm taking (watch your back, bronchitis) has really messed me up this week. Most of them cause "racing heart" and "a sense of nervousness," which I hoped would be balanced by my other medication's side-effect of "an increased sense of well-being" But actually the combination is disturbing.
I don't know how to describe it except to say that I feel like early tomorrow morning I'm taking my driver's license test, speaking in public, and then going to Disneyland. There's a tarantula on my shoulder and the room won't stop spinning. I can't shake the feeling that I'm forgetting something important. And dang, I just feel good about myself.
August 11, 2010
I wanna be sedated
Good news: a couple days ago the worst cold ever turned into the worst Bronchitis ever.
More good news: check out this Google Street View gem
More good news: check out this Google Street View gem
August 6, 2010
Tina Fey
I've been home a lot this week, and between fever-induced hallucinations and nightmares, I've been thinking about one of my favorite daydreams : the one where I'm a cast member on SNL. This daydream usually starts right in the middle, because even with painkillers my mind can't think of a plausible explanation for how I end up on SNL. But it feels really good to be famous.
In real life, when people ask me if I have any acting experience, or when they don't, I like to tell them I played Mary from The Secret Garden when I was twelve. And what makes this foolproof is that no one has ever asked what the play was. They always assume it was The Secret Garden.
The fact is, it wasn't The Secret Garden - it was a one-act musical about ghostbusters investigating a haunted library where book characters (like me) appear out of nowhere. I wasn't supposed to have any lines, but they wrote one for me because if I didn't have anything to say I stared awkwardly into the audience. And my stare really creeps people out. My line was "What are you doing here?" to Colin, the sick boy, who then had a monologue about being locked up and not being able to walk. The boy who played Colin loved Cool Ranch Doritos.
I mention this fact because if the story ever made it this far, I would change the topic from acting to Doritos, a subject I know much more about.
In real life, when people ask me if I have any acting experience, or when they don't, I like to tell them I played Mary from The Secret Garden when I was twelve. And what makes this foolproof is that no one has ever asked what the play was. They always assume it was The Secret Garden.
The fact is, it wasn't The Secret Garden - it was a one-act musical about ghostbusters investigating a haunted library where book characters (like me) appear out of nowhere. I wasn't supposed to have any lines, but they wrote one for me because if I didn't have anything to say I stared awkwardly into the audience. And my stare really creeps people out. My line was "What are you doing here?" to Colin, the sick boy, who then had a monologue about being locked up and not being able to walk. The boy who played Colin loved Cool Ranch Doritos.
I mention this fact because if the story ever made it this far, I would change the topic from acting to Doritos, a subject I know much more about.
August 5, 2010
August 4, 2010
reunion
We had the best weekend ever with Lincoln and Vindie, who let us leech off of them for a week in San Francisco. Highlights included cats mating, an old man serenading us in a Mexican restaurant, nine tacos, the metro, a pirate shop, 7-year-old superheros, elk heads, a jelly bean factory, making Livvy recite animal sounds, and a dachshund.
The bad news (lowlight?) is that I don't get to see Vindie every day, but it was a killer weekend.
Livvy is probably going to be a Gap Baby model or a nuclear physicist pretty soon. Coolest baby in the world.
The bad news (lowlight?) is that I don't get to see Vindie every day, but it was a killer weekend.
Livvy is probably going to be a Gap Baby model or a nuclear physicist pretty soon. Coolest baby in the world.
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